Mum, Girls and My Boy.

I need to learn to come here when I'm feeling joyful. Not jsut when I'm feeling nostalgic or sad.

I'm sad tonight. My heart is sad.

I really miss so many people. I miss my Mum probably most of all. I know how terrible that sounds with Tommy being deployed - believe me, he's a very close second.

...But I still miss my Mum. She's just a cool cat. She listens when I call her in the middle of the night, and she's never (visibly) frustrated at how often that happens. She listens to ALL my little stories and vents. She's just... my Mum. And I love her.

You know whats pretty rad? I now know how much my Mum loves me, because I know how much I love my son. It's true, that saying. The one that says "You never know how much your mother loves you until you become a mother..." It's true. You don't even realise that any single person can contain that kind of love inside their hearts, until you have that love inside you unleashed.

I think it makes me love her more, too. It also helps me understand her.

She's a great Mum. And I love her.

I miss my best friends. My best three girlfriends. What wouldn't I do for a night with the three of them? Or any single one of them? That list is probably pretty short. It's funny - all three of those amazing women are from different circles, different parts of my life. They're all so different as well. But they all are so similar to me. As I sit here and really think about it, I guess they perfectly fit the different sides of me... Woah, deep Erin. I'm lucky, though. I'm lucky that I can sit here and know I have three BEST friends. Best usually means number one. There usually can only be one "best" - but I couldn't divide these women as to who is a better friend to me. They're all the best. They're all so accepting of me. Of my flaws. They're all there for me whenever I ask. They're all the best.

...And I miss my husband. He's my best, too. He's another side of me, too. He's a good guy, my husband. A great guy. He's funny, smart, silly, kind, brave. He's accepting and gentle. He's firm and considerate, with seemingly endless patience. He's just a really good guy.
Tommy is the perfect partner for me. We have enough in common that we don't argue (except for the subject of housework - of course) but enough different that we have lots of talk about.
I miss talking to him. I'd probably ramble on about all of this to him if he was available.
Damn this deployment for making my husband so inaccessible. It is breaking my heart.

/end rambles